Most people think domestic violence means physical violence. In California, that instinct is right in criminal court and wrong in family court.
- In a criminal case: Domestic violence generally requires physical force or the threat of it.
- In family court: The definition of domestic violence that leads to a Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO) is far broader. It includes conduct that doesn’t involve any physical contact and never threatens to, as long as it destroys the other person's mental or emotional calm.
This article explains what actually counts as domestic violence under each system, why the family court definition is so much wider, and where the line is drawn.
What Counts As Domestic Violence: The Short Answer
California has two different definitions of domestic violence, and they are not the same:
- Criminal Law: Requires physical conduct—either the use of force against an intimate partner or a threat that places the person in fear of imminent harm. Words alone, without a threat of violence, generally are not a crime.
- Family Law (DVPA): Under the Domestic Violence Prevention Act, domestic violence is much broader. It includes physical abuse, but it also includes "disturbing the peace of the other party," which the law defines as conduct that destroys the other person's mental or emotional calm. No physical contact or threat of physical contact is required. Verbal abuse, harassment, monitoring, isolation, and other forms of coercive control can all qualify as domestic violence.
Key Difference: A person can be completely truthful in saying "I never touched them" and still be restrained under a domestic violence restraining order.
The Family Law Definition: The DVPA
The definition that governs domestic violence restraining orders runs through a chain of California Family Code sections.
First, the Family Code defines domestic violence as abuse against a person in a protected relationship: a spouse or former spouse, a cohabitant, a dating or former dating partner, a co-parent, or a close relative (Cal. Fam. Code § 6211).
It then defines abuse in four categories:
- Intentionally or recklessly causing or attempting to cause bodily injury.
- Sexual assault.
- Placing a person in reasonable fear of imminent serious bodily injury.
- Behavior that could be enjoined under Family Code section 6320.
The statute states directly that abuse "is not limited to the actual infliction of physical injury or assault."
"Disturbing the Peace of the Other Party"
California Family Code Section 6320 lists the behaviors a court can prohibit. Alongside familiar terms like attacking, striking, stalking, and threatening, it includes five words that carry enormous weight: "disturbing the peace of the other party." That phrase is the doorway through which most non-physical acts count as domestic violence under California family law.
What Is "Disturbing The Peace" Under California Family Law?
For years, "disturbing the peace" was not clearly defined in statute. In 2009, in In re Marriage of Nadkarni (2009) 173 Cal.App.4th 1483, a California Court of Appeal held that it means conduct that destroys the mental or emotional calm of the other party. The case involved no physical violence: a former husband accessed his ex-wife's email and disclosed what he found, and the court held that this constituted abuse under the DVPA.
In 2021, the Legislature codified that judicial definition directly into statute. Family Code section 6320 now defines disturbing the peace as conduct that, "based on the totality of the circumstances, destroys the mental or emotional calm of the other party." It specifies that the conduct can be committed:
- Directly or indirectly (including through third parties).
- By any method, including telephone, text messages, and online accounts.
The bar is low by design. Published appellate cases have found the standard met by:
- Persistent unwanted contact.
- Disclosing a partner's private information.
- Telling third parties truthful but damaging information calculated to cause distress.
- Monitoring and controlling a partner's movements.
Impact: Facts that feel like ordinary marital conflict to someone unfamiliar with this area of law can legally support a DVRO. This is why these cases are heavily contested and why how to fight a DVRO].
What Is Coercive Control?
The 2021 statutory amendment also explicitly added coercive control to the legal definition of abuse.
Coercive control is a pattern of behavior that, in purpose or effect, unreasonably interferes with a person's free will and personal liberty. Statutory examples include:
- Isolating a person from friends, family, or other support.
- Depriving them of basic necessities.
- Controlling or monitoring their movements, communications, finances, or access to services.
- Compelling behavior by force, threat, or intimidation.
- Reproductive coercion.
Coercive control captures the reality of relationships where the harm stems from a sustained campaign of domination rather than a single violent incident. However, distinguishing between offensive relationship behavior and legal "coercive control" can be challenging in trial practice.
The Criminal Definition Of Domestic Violence Is Narrower
Unlike family law, criminal domestic violence in California is built around physical conduct and requires force or the threat of force:
- Domestic Battery (Penal Code § 243(e)(1)): Requires a willful and unlawful touching against an intimate partner (injury is not required).
- Corporal Injury (Penal Code § 273.5): Requires actual physical injury or a traumatic condition inflicted on an intimate partner.
- Criminal Threats (Penal Code § 422): Requires a threat of serious physical harm that places the victim in sustained fear.
In criminal court, being cruel, controlling, or emotionally abusive—without a physical act or explicit threat—is generally not a crime. The criminal law draws its boundary at the body.
Criminal vs. Family Law Comparison
| Feature | Criminal Court | Family Court |
|---|---|---|
| Primary Focus | Physical force, injuries, or imminent physical threats | Disturbing mental/emotional calm, coercive control, physical acts |
| Non-Physical Conduct | Generally, not criminalized without a physical threat | Fully qualifies as abuse under § 6320 |
| Standard Of Proof | Beyond a reasonable doubt | Preponderance of the evidence (more likely than not) |
| Primary Objective | Punish the offender | Protect the victim / alter civil legal rights |
This distinction explains why the same set of facts can result in a valid family court criminal cases].
Why The Difference Matters
The breadth of the family law definition is significant because a DVRO carries consequences as severe as many criminal outcomes:
- Child Custody: Triggers a legal presumption under Family Code section 3044 that and child custody].
- Firearms: Prohibits owning, possessing, or purchasing firearms.
- Immigration: Can impact visa status, naturalization, and removal proceedings
- Employment: Surfaces in background checks and can impact professional licenses
Because all of this is decided under the civil preponderance of the evidence standard, a broad definition of abuse combined with strict consequences makes understanding these legal thresholds vital.
Frequently Asked Questions About What Counts As Domestic Violence
Does domestic violence have to be physical in California?
Not in family court. A domestic violence restraining order (DVRO) can be issued based on "disturbing the peace," which includes destroying the other person's mental or emotional calm without physical contact. In criminal court, common charges do require physical force or threats.
Is emotional abuse domestic violence?
Under the Domestic Violence Prevention Act, yes. Emotional abuse, harassment, isolation, and coercive control can qualify as disturbing the peace and support a restraining order depending on the totality of circumstances.
What is coercive control?
It is a pattern of behavior that unreasonably interferes with a person's free will and liberty (e.g., isolating them, controlling finances, monitoring communications). It was formally codified into California statutory law on January 1, 2021.
Can I get a restraining order if my partner never hit me?
Yes. Many restraining orders are granted for non-physical conduct if the partner's actions destroyed your mental or emotional calm.
Can something be domestic violence in family court but not a crime?
Yes, frequently. Because the family law definition is significantly broader, conduct can warrant a civil restraining order while falling short of a criminal offense.
This article provides general information and is not legal advice. Every case turns on its own specific facts.